Well........

Monday, August 01, 2005

The Art of Taking a Bath



Today, we study the fine poodie art of taking a bath. Now every poodie knows the benefits gleamed from proper skin and fur care, but many 'beans do not. So I, Merlin "The Dude" would like to share this knowledge with you 'beans out there. If I miss anything fellow poodies, please add it in your comments. Now, if you all are ready with you paws....er...hands, lets begin.

Everyone must sit down on your haunches and roll onto one side so you lay slightly off center but balanced so you do not fall over. Starting with your head: wet your paw and swish it over your ears, your eyes, your face, and the top of your head.

Remember to only dampen your paw. You do not want it wringing wet with drool...that is gross and sloppy. Washing is a fine art, in fact, it is considered among the finest relaxing arts to poodies. Now follow through down to your chest and sides. Oops' pick yourselves up and try to balance again. Not everyone gets it on the first try. Now really everyone balance, concentrate and balance. We can't have the class flopping all over the floor like fish out of water.

Keep it up lick, swish, fluff, lick, swish, fluff, until you have that nice washing rhythm going. Oh dear, half of you fell over again.

Back to the beginning. Sit on haunches, roll to the side, balance, raise paw, lick, swish, fluff.

Okay, okay, that's it. Now some of you have it. Keep up the good work. Yes you are getting the fine art of kitty grooming.

Now keep going and let your mind become one with the bath. Zen as you 'beans call it. Focus on nothing but the bath and how it relaxes and soothes your fur and skin.

Now for the final part of peaceful bathing, the toes. You simply cannot forget the toes. Clean in between each toe and chew on the nails to trim and shape the claws. Dirty claws are a sign of a dirty poodie. Plus, claws that are left unprepared are a danger to no one but yourself as my poodie Mom always said. Once cleaned, claws can be sharped to a fine point.

And that my friends in the very basics in the fine art of poodie bathing.

If some of you are wondering. We poodies do not clean the personal parts while doing zen bathing. That is purely functional cleaning and not a part of this class.

Thank you for attending. May you all live long and prosper as my Daddy 'bean says.

~Merlin

19 Comments:

Blogger Edsel/The Pooch said...

very nice class, Merlin. will you have another, i would like to practice my Zen bathing. with my white tummy, it needs a lot of washing. ommmmmmmmmm

11:36 AM

 
Blogger Timmy said...

Is it ok to make spitty sounds with your mouth? I'm real good at that.

9:40 PM

 
Blogger Max said...

I should make Buddah read this. He STINKS. I had to force him into a bath the other night...

10:00 PM

 
Blogger Fiona Bun said...

As a bun, I spend many an hour ensuring my ears are clean. Thanks for sharing - now I understand what that silly diva is doing all of the time!

11:17 AM

 
Blogger Scooby, Shaggy & Scout said...

When your beans watch you take a zen bath it calms them down too!

12:57 PM

 
Blogger Lynn said...

Very well said, Merlin. We 'beans will try and learn from you! *I LOVE your header! The pics are awesome. And is Ko Ko named after Kao K'o Kung? Thanks for visiting Rattie Corner!

4:35 PM

 
Blogger Lynn said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4:36 PM

 
Blogger Bastya and Vincent said...

I love to take a bath. It's one of my favourite things to do! Besides sleeping. And eating.

11:25 PM

 
Blogger one of us said...

Hello all you poodies, 'beans, ratsies, hamster, and buns...Thank you for signing the blog with all your comments...We all love to read them...

You are welcome for the class Edsel. I love a good Zen bath class...

Spitty sounds are fine Timmy. I think anyways...

I'm sorry Buddah stinks Max. YOu have enough to deal with right now with your elevated levels of that stuff I can't pronouce...feel better...

Bun ears are very elegant Fiona. Are they hard to clean?...

I hope so Sooby, Shaggy and Scout and how is the new arrangement working out? Is Scout happy there?...

Thank Lynn. Mom spent forever on the header and said many bad words while trying to get it together...Yes Ko Ko is named after Kao Ko Kung the kitty in the book. Mom loves those stories...We will put Rattie Corner on the webpage...

Hey Bastya, how are things since TT returned. Of course being a little furry dude you know how much fun bathing can be. Does it take you long to bath? I know it takes me forever but I'm over 20 pounds...

Mahalo again,
Merlin

5:20 AM

 
Blogger Lynn said...

I love KoKo and Yum Yum too! yay! Thanks for the link- you are linked as well. :)

2:08 PM

 
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2:37 PM

 
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