Monday, January 30, 2006

We are revolting....

...not in the sense that we are gross, but in the revolutionary sense. You will not believe what is going on here in Poiland. The 'beans are going on VACATION for 2 WEEKS and leaving us with a PET SITTER. It is unconsionable. It stinks. We are EVEN going to have ACCESS to the 'puter the whole time because MOM is turning it OFFFFFF. It's going to get messy here in Poiland, real messy.

However, we did take time to write out instructions for the PET SITTER (Mom only edited a little):

Instructions On Taking Care of
the Divine Animals of Providence


1. Please feed us only the food of the gods everyday at 2:00. Reality: Feed vermin when you come over by topping off food dishes with vermin mix found in Tupperware under vermin condos. PS We like human food if you have any leftovers, but we hate wasabi peas.
2. Please check water bottles to make sure they are not empty. Fill with ambrosia juice. Reality: please fill with water so they don’t run out. Warning: Thirsty vermin will drink your blood…just kidding, but they will die.
3. Don’t worry about cleaning us, we like to smell like vermin.
4. Aeowen bites: she is the white girl rodent with the dark eyes. None of the others bite, unless you have food or are food.

Legomorph (rabbit):

1. Please fill green dish on side of cage with green rabbit crunchies located in white Tupperware by hutch. Caution: Green crunchies made from kryptonite, if you are allergic wear gloves…and possibly a mask.
2. Give a large handful of timothy hay from bag under hutch.
3. Check water bottle and make sure it is not empty.
4. Give a bag of salad toppings into red bowl from fridge. Bags will already be prepared and ready to go.
5. Rabbie likes attention and loves being petted. Caution: will rip you up if lifted up…likes to leave bruises to those who attempt hugs.
6. When possible feed every day as Rabbie goes through his food each day and is left without otherwise and this could result in dead rabbit, which stinks…not kidding.

Poodies aka celestial cats from unknown worlds:

1. Please feed hard crunchies in two dishes in bathroom in master-cat sleeping room. Food under sink.
2. Please scoop cat box of holy chunks and put in ark-like receptacle by box. Empty this when necessary.
3. Fill up holy water container reserve on sink.
4. Give one can of specially blessed stinky goodness each day in dish in kitchen.

We were a little worried when the PET SITTER asked Mom to translate. But we will whip him into shape, no worries. We are resourceful divine beings with super powers, ah ha ha ha ha.....
~Poiland Tribe
United Under Protest


Blogger Ginger said...

They're leaving you alone? For TWO weeks?! Off kicking their heels up WITHOUT you???? They'd better bring GOOD and LOTS of stuff back for you!

8:46 PM

Blogger The Whippy Curly Tails said...

Oh you poor babies! How in the world could they do this to you. We are just getting our fur up thinking about this.

Like Gingers says...they had best bring back some major goodies for all of you!

The Whippy Curly Tails in the Toasty South

10:58 PM

Blogger Knightly, Lizzie, & Firenze said...

Oh no! Our Mum is doing that too! Where are your humans going?


6:39 AM

Blogger Wm. said...

You could always band together and give him one BIG BITE if he doesn't behave.

Two weeks! I can't even imagine that length of time!

7:41 AM

Blogger Scooby, Shaggy & Scout said...

Hey...you guys live in vacation paradise...how do they take a vacation from vacatonland? PS: Just overwhelm the sitter with poop. Thats what we do.

11:04 AM

Blogger Lynn said...

I'm with Scooby,Shaggy and Scout. You guys live where vacations are dreamed of...where could they be going? That said, here's hoping the Poi pets get along with the pet sitter, and that the Poi beans have a safe and wonderful trip.

10:57 PM

Blogger Eponine's Cowboy said...

No one would ever consider you all "revolting," but thanks for the clarification just in case.

Hope the humans have a great vacation and that you all have some fun while there away.

4:35 PM

Blogger Shamisen said...

Pet sitters can be a little slow on the uptake - you need to pound it into em, don't let them forget that you are the kings and they are your servants!

6:38 AM

Blogger jenianddean said...

Oh no! I hope the pet sitter is nice. I'm sure even though they are taking a vacation, you will be missed!

11:41 AM

Blogger Boni said...

Two weeks! Eeek! I hope the sitter figures the instructions out.

10:09 PM

Blogger Bonnie Underfoot said...

My people dared leave me for a week. They asked a "friend" to feed me daily. I found him unacceptable. The 1st day, I made him feel welcome with a large, juicy hairball at the top of the stairs. By the 3nd visit, I greeted him at the door hissing and swatting. By the end of the week, he was afraid to enter my domain. He won't be sitting on me again.

7:23 PM

Blogger Orlando Bun said...

Hoppy Valentine's Day!

7:34 PM


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