From: The Fantastic Three aka Merlin, Shadow, Ko Ko
Date: 4 May 2006
RE: The Excess of Vermin
We respectfully submit a plan of ideal placement for the over abundance of vermin found at 1031 Ala Napunani #101.
After a large okay absolutely no official amount of research, we have found that too many vermin may cause cancer. Since we do not want our 'beans suffering undue amounts of disease because we would starve in their absence, we have come up with several innovative and very practical ways to thin out the said vermin.
1. Take 2-3 ratlets, tie them with dental floss and place in cat toy basket at foot of bookcase. If Mom would be willing to donate one of her nice wooden sticks, ahem dowels, we could actually make dangle toys. Note: do not tie tails to feet as this would redue the vermin to balls of fluff with no fun dangly parts.
2. Box up 2 ratlets in a priority box with holes punched in side and send to Edsel, who needs some pets.
3. Roll a half dozen ratlets up in crescent roll dough and make poodie snacks--ratlets in a blanket.
4. Being of generous and helpful character, we suggest all left over vermin happily donate themselves to science in an effort to further the study of the effects of vermin cooties on 'beans and poodies. We already have a voluteer driver to drop you off at the UH labs...the poodle in unit #102 assures us he has a valid drivers license and access to a handicap van.
So as can be seen, the after affects of the vermin dispersal/removal will be to the benefit of all poodies concerned. Oh yes and will remove the chance of the residing 'beans from catching vermin carrying disease.