The Great Sleuth
I am Horatio Phinneaus Newton, or PI Fig Marscapone to you. I own my own detection agency where all manner of problems skate across my desk in a matter of weeks, some difficult and some dangerous, but all solvable by the great PI Fig.
Don't worry ma'am. I can solve the case for you. Just leave it in the capable hands of PI Fig Marscapone. In no time at all I will have your problem taken care of and your worries put to rest.
Danger? Danger is not problem ma'am. I'm trained in several martial arts. Hooo-ahhhhhhhh, hiiiii-eeeeeeee, ooohhhh-ahhhhh.
The great nose is on the case. PI Fig sniffs out the trail and he is off after the nefarious criminal. Will our great sleuth catch his rat? Will he be able to turn him in?
The trail goes this way. PI Fig is relentless. He will not quit until the case is solved and justice is done. No matter the consequences.
Oh no. The culprit is Salsa "The Sleeper" Cicione, PI Fig's friend for many moons and dinner partner extroidinaire at the neighborhood Rat Club. But our sleuth knows what must be done.
After the successful, if troubling end to the case, PI Fig closes up shop and heads out into the night. He will do what a PI has too and.....
....have dinner at the club alone.
~H. P. N.